Perfection

"Perfection," written 1998/1999

I stare at her.
Watching
Wishing
Wondering.
Why aren't I like that?
I broke a commandment.
I coveted her.
I still do.
Perfect her.
Not me.
Her perfect life.
Not mine.
Her perfect hair.
Not mine.
Her perfect face.
Not mine.
Her perfect everything.
Not me.
So perfect.
Why not me.

Luckily I got out of that state of mind fast. The spoken of "Perfection" now gets walked over every day because of her quest to be the perfect all-American girl. Oh yes, I'm going to make my decisions on whether or not it makes me "popular." Hmmm? no. If I wanted to get walked over, I'd kill myself and come back as a rug. (I'd get walked over twice. Hah. Don't mind my dark comedy.) And well if I cared about what people thought of me, I wouldn't be able to me, because everyone that knows me knows I can be the bitchiest bitch if I have to.